the most entertaining thing you've never read

Kiss

2010-07-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

Your tongue is busy
So my mouth full
Of cold, sugared vodka
Won't ask for wanting
Silence to teach you sound

In a woman's world
Your involuntary noise
Would top charts.

Bias

2010-06-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

Keats and I,
We could take oaths on your face.

Mirrored Smoke Brassiere

2010-04-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Stare at my vagina.
(there's a chastity belt on my secrets.)

Physical nudity has nothing on emotional stripping.
My poetry is lingerie for my soul.
Intellectual dick tease,
I'm a coward.
I don't want to cry.
It'll ruin my makeup.
Capitalist focus,
Forget Sunday, go to Vegas, cash in on character flaws
Lube my ass in a crowded club
I'll give you something hard to attend to!
(besides questions.)
I won't speak plainly
because I'm afraid,
and I'm insecure.
Your flattering interest calls for a tour guide
but I don't want to look at myself.
Let me be an empty cathedral
Wander aimlessly in senseless wonder
Crush into velvet pew
See dust on the stained glass
Spiderwebs in vaulted ceilings
The God you're seeking is out today.
Take beauty instead,
here's a distraction,
TITS AND ASS
fleshlight flash, glossed red leather lips
stick to skin, every sin
church was built to save you after.
Pout purr professional
sex goddamn symbol, baby
I want to be one dimensional
because I don't want
so much.

Silicone Sheeting

2010-04-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

There's a body in the lake.
Dreamer, if we don't wake they fear...

Heat metal to melting, hold on tight.
Past loves last week's run in,
the dangerous end, carcinogen lie in my skin.
Futureperfect writes Webster,
I want to be
but my vocabulary's underverbed.

Long sleeves and lies are the most effective symptom solutions.
The disease is a bitch
so we just won't talk about it.
There's no pink fading to white under my makeup.
Cardio sucks scar color.
Run away.

Artists are self indulgent corpse fuckers,
we have been for years.
It's easier this way, our pain is right there
and who in the miserable world wants to hear about your happiness?
Fuck off
forget about it,
consumer culture demands sugared glitter
lovesongs to break hearts.
No reality checks for cashed out eyes.
Wear 3D glasses to feel
for steadily more expensive ghosts.
Borrow hope to pay today's emotional debt.
We're gonna die broke(n).
We're a fear
We're afraid
We're all afraid
I fear the worst
Terror rendered powerless is the action of terrible courage.

Conflict Inexplicable

2010-03-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

You are the skeleton key to my caged tiger
close enough to use this shield for a mirror.
The past was content with reflection;
you're the least indulgent person I know.
That face launched oceans
first from shock, last from horror.
You've born the weight of other's error.
This hesitation doesn't indicate doubt, my calculated Cupid.
You're no apocalypse, just mathematics.
(I can handle application, theory escapes me.)
Your face is technically perfect
Even everything I'd ask for,
But it's not why I hid in the kitchen
crying into a smile at 2 in the afternoon.

Technicolor Retina

2010-03-13T08:46:00.000-08:00

My ladle is an accurate devil,
watching details.
Swallows criticism,
until I've measured sufficient.

Sometimes this teaspoon serves more than sugar.
He stirs me,
observing changes observed
and I whore for attention
like any internet's children.
I want to become
(a girl who can dance for 3 minutes,
a woman who can love without fucking)
more perfectly a better me.

He asks questions I can't answer,
would ignore from anyone else,
his soundtrack dies for love.
Life as a bleeding explorer is all I've got,
but I could die tomorrow.

In acute humanity, insecurity goes without saying.
I write my doubts on napkin scraps,
leave them crumpled in coffee spills at Starbucks' across Manhattan.
Some busboy I'll never meet
knows some stranger with poor penmanship
fears not being
(entertaining, charming, supportive, attentive, ... )
enough.

Puzzle Piece

2010-02-28T15:09:00.000-08:00

You don't have to be perfect,
just perfect for me.

Drugs and casual sex have nothing
on being asked difficult questions at 4am
by you.

My inappropriately timed laughter
is only me
recognizing your outline's edges.

Reddish Blues

2010-02-11T10:43:00.000-08:00

Lend me your wrist and a boxcutter
I said, I need fresh lipstick.

I used to be so shocking,
want doppelganger sex dolls.
Swore like a sailor I loved them all
like my neighbors
and myself,
and now you
clean skinned wonder,
too young for me,
conservative.
I want to burn all over,
preserve my memory but don't use me
sparingly.

Reticence diminishes pleasure,
does not extend.
Cowards are criminals, should self prosecute
seldom wake in time for court.

At 6, I read newer testaments with little understanding.
Now I'm old enough to lie
about the date my parents conceived
such a disappointing child.
We aren't adults,
our nudity shocks no one.
We are expected, entertain strange,
titillate
baby
doll.
Outside
the ring they demand,
and we bonobo tango till our paws bleed,
toes curled in latex en pointe under whip
Invisible barbs sting
From between purchased mouths.
Who needs to be born with it
In plastic crowned cosmetic dream?
I am frequently afraid,
but know no one else to be.
I make my heartbreaker's face in the mirror
and hate myself for it
when I catch her smile in my teeth.
But I'm never alone
and she wasn't all wrong.

You make me wish
For a past like rabbits
And a fancy hat
But if I turned tricks
I wouldn't be
The woman you love.

Reason Comes From Everything

2010-02-03T21:58:00.000-08:00

go up on me, blow my mind
gently
I'll discard petals
cherry blossoms on your breeze
stand before you bare as winter
scared as snow.

I believe in you
God
And high heeled shoes
Enough to be afraid.

Fervor

2010-01-31T10:44:00.001-08:00

Your belief in me deifies
and taught me the fear of God
He's afraid of letting us down.

I can be a lot in the morning
anything except
blank as I was last night.
Fill the space with what attracts you
I'll get it back tomorrow
I swear.

Your faith inspires
I will work miracles for you.

, too.

2010-01-23T21:47:00.000-08:00

You are handsome
But not to the extent
I believe.

All incoherent, exhausted word vomit
meant half as much as your
remembering to call.

But She Never Comes Home and She Won't Call

2010-01-10T10:52:00.000-08:00

Children are selfish,
Yours are no exception.

I am afraid
of third degree burns
Spiders
And that you will die
before we learn to talk
without fighting.

Demand Exceeds Supply

2009-12-20T08:19:00.000-08:00

Ejaculate injection
infected function,
cross my eyes
dot my...unmentionables.
you do everything
multi-(ab)use
ideal contraption
contracepted bliss
slide me down your skin

Let me desire sans denial.
I want to eat you,
mouth down.
settle for sex,
when impossible distance is done.

This inadequacy is impermanent,
we do not match our settings,
only chosen surroundings.
Inexact magic, our science
in the land of coffee and saccharine
where principle stands.
Without you, I abandon
my preferred side of the bed.
Your scent on the sheets plays dreamcatcher
till sunset sees us city swarming
separate schedules.

Come back to me.
I want to teach you
to be naked.
While you teach me
to be.

Securely Pinned Tiara

2009-12-14T18:30:00.001-08:00

I'll take my way
send heartaches back where they came from,
where I never go.
Wouldn't you?
Masoch might not
but we're unrelated.

I told you what she did to me.
Are you deaf
or just selfish?
Your timing is terrible,
pushy.
What am I going to DO with you?
What AM I going to do with you?
You, entirely unlike everyone else.
Life is unfair,
why should you exceed reality?
You need a dead girl,
I need you kinder.

She is her whole name to my skull,
misbehaved Southern child.
Oh, baby.
You weren't a bad girl,
just oil in my ocean,
fish killer.
I needed you kinder,
needed you at all,
but abandoning seafood doesn't mean I'm hungry.

Modern selfishness consumed.
Royal ice sculpture staring down and down
electronic shadows
of the hearts
I used to heat.
Global warming is a lie
between our shifted seasons
While snow suffocates small things,
spring slaps my concrete jungle,
unsettling monsters.

Predictable Exasperation

2009-12-01T02:35:00.000-08:00

I live in a city of car sleepers
peace costs extra.
I am overtired.
Gray Greek guardian in a yellow cab,
save me.
After five years of braces
I must unlearn my smile
Till the city learns
It's okay to laugh
during orgasm.

While Humming Lullabies

2009-11-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

My favorite key is useless
because the lock never is.

I spy on beautiful people
falling in lust
love, combinations thereof
Bearing black oil, I defer dreams
slightly schedule sleep,
my beautiful person and I
early rises for long days
productivity
I could be a grown up
if I had a real job.

Goodnight

2009-11-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

I had something to say
when my teeth started to part
But decided against it.

Chicago

2009-10-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

Strung between Astoria and another hotel
plane full of pretty girls
tousled heads on lover’s shoulders,
wish I were one
but my shoulder is sleeping
in the bed I left unmade.
I was so good at leaving,
before I met you.
Before I met you,
I left everyone I ever loved.

Shove worry behind skull skeletons,
slam the door before this speed can slip
through bony fingers, slide into my eyes.
Go back to sucking your dick in a dirty public bathroom,
we’re better at sex than fear.
You first said you loved me
while the guy who loved kissing you
was fucking me
straddling you.
The light on this flight is warmer than early winter
on your face two hours later
over decaf coffee and religion,
another 8am diner dinner.
Perfect.

We build tomorrow every day of our lives.
Funny how you can be aware of something for years
without giving much of a damn,
then wake up one day
and find the most exciting thing your world’s ever known.
Tomorrow we can be anything we want.
Is the ennui I suffered from
Common to our cohort?
Modern life prescribed
School 5 to 25
Work till death
The chronicled coma epidemic.

Familiar as frightening,
so similar as to seem a known commodity.
Safe, whether or not it’s true
bound
to happen
Let’s make it so,
quicksilver dawn
after today’s heavy thunderstorms.
leave milk out,
I’ll come round more often.
Death's too common to leave emotion unexplored
looking at you, I feel.

All Tomorrow's Parties

2009-10-17T15:39:00.000-07:00

Forever means as long as you can, none of us is.
Swallow pharmaceutical alphabet
Australian tongue,
news hits New York before Toronto.
Reputation flies faster than I do,
and I get around.
Trade LA for NY
Berlin for Oz.

Today envelope lips deliver a kiss
to the beautiful boy
who knows my mouth isn’t all his.
Nets working,
youth labors for us-
Gorgeous infants,
so motivated
it’s killing our parents,
we’re those beautiful babies
screen screaming in light streams,
left our native South for the frozen North.
Crazy lady.
Extra bags to get through customs,
I’m coming home without an address.

He met me homeless,
he met me alone.
On a Sunday in Ramadan we pulled Persian smoke through American lungs,
pineapple cancer and cinnamon dreams gleaming in silicone blue.
I’ve reached out,
I’m finger fucking faith in the back of a Manhattan taxi.
Speechlessly thankful for the spectacle we create,
strange lovely domestication.
Mop on a leash,
thin black shadows stiletto stalk golden afternoons.

Love that lifts limits,
Behind stage makeup,
we’re young angels laughing in a concrete jungle,
bloodstained palms etched in psalms,
holding hands,
hearts,
heads.
Swapping confidence in our spit,
everyone’s nice when you’re beautiful and naked
so set the outfits shrinking.
Giggles ricochet off the sidewalk
like padded bullets.
I’m selectively deaf
Till my iPod melts
We’ll build tomorrow
today.

Easy Girls

2009-10-06T02:57:00.001-07:00

A girl I'd never fuck
asked me if I ate pussy
I thought of your sea foam eyes and crocodile tears
And I laughed at her.

When you said you'd always love me
and never anyone else
I hope you were lying
for your sake.

Statute Of Limitations

2009-09-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

It's feel, not felt,
that's relevant.

She wrote her diary on my tongue
cut my lips to scab seal secrets
but I'm healing.

She was everything
except tomorrow.

I'm stray cat nervous
he's a room of rocking chairs
but I eat too much pussy to be one
Don glitter spit coat,
we'll strip further
it'll be gorgeous
just like the over edited images
Baby's drug haze dreams.

Blue Chalk on Gritty Fists

2009-09-24T00:52:00.000-07:00

Fly out of New York at sunset,
new year’s dawn at backbrain forefront.
2010 hope higher than this plane.
I see stability on the horizon.
Predictability, permanent mailing address.
Minor miracles,
little things mean everything,
call at takeoff to make sure I’ll call when I land.
Miss me, kiss me,
make me eat
sleep
hope
dream,
you make me human,
I’ll make us gods, angel.
Cherries coming,
addictive reverb swings low.
I repeat myself to reassure myself,
because the fact is that I am very young and terribly afraid.
Fear is an expensive luxury I can’t afford.
Brittle confidence is better than nothing,
And I’ve been running since March
so I’ll face this head on
even if I chip in the wind.
Flying fragments spill down,
I am volcanic ash smeared across her Catholic forehead,
nourishing his garden.
Fill my hair with roses
Don’t throw the bouquet.

His and Hers Hairspray

2009-09-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'm a creeper.
I watch people sleep.
Wake up, recoil
Neon blue X rating your dreams

He wakes up to this
succubus in a t shirt
and clings like a child
to the moldy life line thrown out
during summer camp swim lessons

"Turn over"
I wait for the
don't look at me
he gives me an
"I want to hold you."

The Aquanet's gone to my brain
I can't sleep
But I've fallen and I won't get up.

Block Me

2009-09-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

Last I ever saw you,
sleeping peacefully in our bed,
I cried
(I’m crying now
dopamine deficient
10,000 feet over Montreal.)
Kissed your real hair for 15 minutes,
stepped over your extensions,
went to work.
You were so strong then.

Now you shower me with introductory goodbyes.
So flattering, you're giving me what I always asked for.
but Baby, believe me.
I don’t want to see you.
Just go.
I’ll be strong for both of us,
forget your venom,
your flying mirrors.

I’ve lost your voice,
I’ll never see your new scars.
Go to your LA lover,
while I buy 98 lbs of shoes
and marry New York.

I love you too much to see you again,
ruin the light on your golden cheekbone
under laced lashes’ curves.
MDMA glues my throat shut,
while you eat crumbs with your silver spoon.
we're children in an infant millennium
we learn the arithmetic of carefully constructed chemical separation
in the blackest and bluest of schools.

I was waiting for you,
but you came for someone else.
Fill my chest with steampunk steel,
I could see you.
Calm,
pleasant,
feeling full as any junkyard queen,
I could let you ruin yourself for me.
Closure’s the last thing I want, Loved.
I’ll take no scars from you,
leave these arms bleeding.
I want to go on missing you when I fuck blondes,
long after I forget what you taste like.

Babbling Brook

2009-08-18T16:26:00.001-07:00

Hating the writing
of the poet who loves you:
Does it inspire self hatred?

Her pedestal is a tombstone
My words serve
To decorate disgrace
(This grave)
I don't scribe a living lover
But I live
And I love
Still
She is what she was in my pen.

Nutritionally Void

2009-08-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

I am delicious, and so damn empty. So here is a happy smiling pink glitter dipped image that everyone who really knows me understands is quite possibly the most sarcastic, bitchy image I've made in my entire career. Cheers!

Dieting

2009-08-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

let's fuck outdoors in thunderstorms
sun sexing stars
two knuckles deep in your muscle
if we stay up till dawn
will we gain anything by early afternoon?

spine recline
pussy index
belgian amalgam
I brought you to my lover
kitten's dead rat
feeding people means you love them
but she's not hungry.

To The Beautiful Boy Passed Out In My Bed

2009-07-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

The girl I wish you were is doing that thing
where she doesn't reply to my messages
cause she knows I won't like
the answers
to the questions
I'm asking.
Modern moonlight,
The most disappointing thing in my life
Is this telecommunication device.
Blast Bowie
bony hand dangling death
into this lovely summer day.
Mama tells me she's a mistake
but I still think we can make it okay
She turns me on
but we're only dancing.

I Want You Needier

2009-07-20T04:19:00.000-07:00

Catch me, explode moments.
Continual rise:
glittering ashes
to higher heights
with you.

Fevered

2009-07-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

There's a ball of naked need
model mask and stilettos
waiting for you in Philadelphia.
Come home,
I have a voice
to whisper to you on early mornings.
Open mouth, make you stickier than summer
I've grown new skin
to press to yours late at night.
I want to slice my wrists on your cheekbones
bleed laughter on your new scars
I have house keys to share with you
And I will pierce your navel
with my tongue.

Tragic Youth

2009-07-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

Overcome to mere existence
so moved by the motion
steel in your chest
the 13th girl aimed for 12 lines
thin as cocaine
you walked away
But I have your voice
drawn into dramatic growl
pain and alcohol,
waiting for me
You are black satin sheets
coiled and recoiled
in a dark, humid summer bedroom.

Anticipation

2009-07-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Mindfucking you
with writing utensils,
phonics facial.

Neverending charm,
bridge this distance
every way I can,
any way you'll take.

Scarred paragraphs bleeding letters,
I'm your rag tag gutter glamour, darling.
Slow suicide forever.
Quote bands you don't listen to
till the unfamiliar is colored with weird romance.

Fill slow motion time with nonsense,
we're all mad here-
endless empty vistas till your arrival
mindfuck me.

You're the last thing my eyes cling to
slap the alarm
(overly aggressive drunk)
these orbs burn all day.
Battle for the sun.

I'm marking time
between now
and us.

Ma Belle

2009-07-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

I'm going to burn down the Midwest
and in the light of it's death throes,
I'll French kiss your heart
make it all better.
everything.
forever.
This ain't how I planned to paint this city red.
Bring your disease to this frozen waste,
let me send those fingers screaming
for gravestones.
Yeah,
I can be the subtle smile between your thighs,
yeah,
I can make you happy every single goddamn day of your life.
Hair shiver on your trigger, fingering that figure
Cold comfort under steely sky, ironed earth rusting (sadness bleeds).

Deliberately goth,
insecurity drives me to familiar.
Chain smoke cloves in the rain,
Time laughs at me,
got nothing to spare-
nothing glamourous
as ideas.
Too much eyeliner isn't quite enough.
Light a cigarette and man up,
woman.

naked under oversized hypodermic,
crying about that Kansas girl.
Don't trust
where she's at
that is
all she knows.
She's more educated than I.
Constant repetition,
distance makes a fool of me.
Eternal countdowns.
Killer.
How many times can I say
I love her,
I miss her,
I wish
she were here,
before something changes?
I can't cover how I feel about her
all at once.
I am reduced
to smashing it into pieces
covering each fragment individually.
Suck it into my mouth,
let the edges cut my tongue.
I spit roses on the sidewalk,
classy as any homeless bum,
and the veins and arteries outlined on the concrete
seem to scream everything
I feel.
Too bad
I'm not a photographer.

Slip into the...headlight

2009-07-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

I hate calling you
my ex.

Dream you're not.
Wake angry
ashamed.

Spine Worm

2009-06-28T21:17:00.000-07:00

It’s 8 am.
I’m on a bus to New York.
One hug away from breaking down in public.
don’t touch ANYONE.
Avoid eye contact.
Don’t Panic
My plastic smile is fabulous
whether I am
or not.
I’ve desperately needed an ending for months
but I knew months ago
this is never ending.

Time’s shrinking, you’re the last gasp
before plastic’s pulled
over my face,
slick fill mouth and nostrils,
wrinkling against open eyes.
Thin death tugs my eyelashes
but you’re in my lungs,
mingling with recently illegal blue cinnamon
saving my life.
Without you I’m slug bait.
Can’t wait.
My father calls to tell me when and how I’ll die
sounds so poetic
but it isn’t when you live it.
Preoccupation with mortality is an occupational hazard for ministers.
Mama never left the stage,
she just acts out different dramas.
When antique ashtrays flew through the kitchen like zeppelins,
the blonde schoolgirl I used to be hoped for a new Daddy
but we never had room for a pony.
I’ve always been a preacher’s daughter,
and now I’m an artist’s lover.
I scratch at the back door
let me come in
curl up in your lap.
sleep on your pillow
touch your hair.

You're the sunshine I need.
Pour over my fragile skin and
burn it off.
I will rise from my ashes,
looking for you in the sky.
If I can't find you,
my remains will sketch a picture of you
on every reachable flat surface.
maybe someone will direct you to me
if my smoke signal is black enough.
The seat next to me is always open,
if you’re you.
Thank God you are.

Copper Flavour

2009-06-22T22:10:00.001-07:00

Yeah, Phil and I are a thing.
So goddamn modern,
ditching getting hitched for shacking up.
Noncommital fidelity.

I like his tattoos, the Pixies poster in his ammonia scented bathroom.
Phil convinces almost everyone to dye their hair black,
like the cigarettes I smoke on the back porch
sitting up too late
waiting for Dawn to come
baby pink eyeshadow says the world is ending.
I ignore her,
Don’t Panic
Whisper half forgotten poems across the pillow
at that sweaty, sleeping city.

Phil would make an honest woman of me
if I weren’t such a liar.
I keep leaving him
on these blue black stiletto capped sticks
and coming back.
Let’s say I walk into doors,
crooked smile and bleeding gums
She’s so clumsy
Hospitals are for those with insurance
Not me
My parents worry
but they never liked any of my lovers.
And Phil loves me, really really loves me
When he’s not eating me alive.

Stick A Patterned Pink Band Aid In My Chest

2009-06-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

Tell me Santa’s coming
I can have a pony
And you will love me forever.

I’ll believe you.

You Are The Woman Stuck In My Throat

2009-06-17T01:41:00.000-07:00

Those smiles don't move me.
The attention I want
is yours.

I want to be your
beautiful dream.

And please don't
wake up-
I'm so tired
of your going away.

Silence

2009-06-15T17:27:00.000-07:00

Sun blind stumble round Filthadelphia,
skinned knees
(how old am I, again?)
leave red roses on wet pavement.
Light another black cigarette with the end of some stranger's kindness.

Acid rain turned tsunami,
drowning is perfect and so were we,
once upon the small hours of a dead time

The heart is just a muscle.
The heart is just a muscle.
The heart is just a muscle.
But hers is torn and it's breaking mine.

stressed, scared, running
rare sightings create broken communication
I want to say anything
Just to say
Thinking of you
But I talk too much.

Perpetual Motion and Static Cling

2009-06-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

We’re so grown, we don’t break.
Maintain gorgeous not exactly lies, I’ve got
new men in my thighs, you’ve got
new work in your life.
Not exactly unhappy,
there’s so much good in life,
but cigarette pause and
I miss you, miss you.
I miss you often, not always.
Do you notice
when I don’t speak
to you?
I didn’t think so, but I often think wrong.

Sibilant city skies scream suicide
and I’m laughing,
romantic atrocities spill from her pretty mouth
I want to kiss her till we’ve both died.
Crashing burnt babies,
spray love, lust and perfect cheekbones
all over the damn highway.
I love her,
I love her,
I love her,
I am utterly abandoned, completely unreliable
to anyone else.
Following her to the ends of the earth,
I forget myself,
I am my Self.

If you came back, what would I do
with you, with your sad sense of replacement?
There is more to
even my
life than sex, mister.
If you knew me enough to know that,
would you have known that love trumps typecasting?
Seen differently?

Dancing ladies want someone to love them,
even when the shadow’s wiped from cracking eyelids,
the music’s stopped,
colored hot lights yield to cold dawn slapping tired fishnets.
The more people see of you,
the less human you’re seen.
She loves me under fluorescent grocery bars,
she loves me in broad daylight,
she loves me by starlight and sunset and
when we creep out of town at dawn
her eyes shine brighter than headlights.
She is gorgeous without glitter,
passed out and pale in muted afternoon tones,
I love her.

We are consumables consuming,
why were you so afraid of being eaten alive?
There is no thrill like the thrill of slipping
down her throat.
You gave her your cock,
threw your head back on the trial run.
My heart’s in her teeth.
There is more to (even my) life than sex.

Katie

2009-05-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

You open me.

When I've shut down.

I love you.

Greater Than The Sum

2009-05-10T02:32:00.001-07:00

I miss your morning bedhead
floor piled extensions
I want to take you to the movies
make out, annoy the single father behind us
ex D and D'er, glasses too small for his fleshy head
when he bitches and moans I want to say
Hey man
we paid our money to be here, same as everyone else
and if we want to ignore this film
well
that's our prerogative.
I want to tie you up, blind fold you
I want to take you to bed
I want you to come home
Sideways shouting Filthadelphia
we have pillow forts to build
afternoon naps to take
I want to make you breakfast
eat in bed
I want to do everything
but not the sad things
and I want to do them all for many years
I want arson art and alcohol
I want you.

Sober Ramble

2009-05-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm giving you no context for this
I'd like to
But I lost it
I live in a world contextualized by the texture of your photographs
jealous of the sun on your face
I want to slap the rays away like they're from Jersey
Without your tone of voice
Dragons be everywhere
And me with a broken compass
The only direction I know is down
Everything spiraling out of control
Incessant nervous nausea
I'd like to give you a context for this
but the only determining factor in my present existence is your distance
and you've already got that
space is the single most deconstructive construct you've ever asked me for
you need room
to grow and blossom

and I need you.
I'm the bag lady, out of her head and wandering
I need you
down chestnut over to 12th st
I need you
Sightseeing in the places we used to be together
I need you
and you're not here
I try to bridge the distance with text messages,
I call too much,
I email your friends,
Prophets are crazy
and all love is worship in a way
can you grow here?
can we build here?
When are you coming home?

Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow

2009-04-30T00:50:00.000-07:00

I am the ghost in your machine
Willow whispers round your gears
Roller coastered, one way to skin a lion.
I find myself uncomfortably numb.

Automatically voiced static shrills
Relax. Enjoy. White noise.

Silent haunting
You’re curled round my back brain
Lurker, never reaching out.
Her fist is my voice box
Clenched till the palm bleeds
Swallowing her blood makes me nauseous, today.
Bunch of fucked up kids
saving the worst behavior for our most beloveds
Crying about some damn trike
till the bike gets stolen.

Every day is one more time

2009-04-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

I want to go to bed till it's all over
I want my fucking trike back.
But there's a monster under the bed
He is every fear ever felt
speaking out loud
Confirming, reaffirming
this is neverending.

Blonde Eyelashes

2009-04-11T14:48:00.000-07:00

I am clinging to the idea of May
First anniversary of that first tentative physical exploration.

I can't remember the last time we fucked
I can't remember the last time you kissed me.

Shove it all into my spine
I am homeless.

There is nowhere safe for fear, grief, or anger,
until May.

Some Women Demand Strength

2009-04-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

He said he wanted me
to have what I want-
Mockery.
What I want
doesn't want me.

Drag me down, lady
Breathe me in
isolated body high
kiss crawling through
wet, cold night
keeping up with you.

Just Go Into The Next Room

2009-03-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

maintaining the ordinary facade
postpones the inevitable scene
But I wish I were strong enough to take it
So someone could comfort me.

This all seems so unneedful
But I can't ask
if this is real
he's so damned stubborn.

I see no end to this
out of body sorrow
that isn't me
ouroboros swallowed girl
shaking like that
I can't feel it
watching someone else collapse.

Slow Constant Burn

2009-03-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

My stomach wrenched card castle
is flaming down around us
The phoenix is dying.

There's no space
time
words
Just this endless journey.
Run.

One year of poetry undone
in one heartless sentence
Birth hurts.

I want you
but I can't hold you
Slow constant burn
We're learning to fly.

Sex Ed

2009-03-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Piss scented cushion
seated in the tower of babel
(human birdsong fallen in my ears),
I travel through time,
live in seasons unoccurred,
waiting on Tomorrow Girl.

She runs late but comes soon.

15 minutes declined;
I'm gonna swallow this
(pulse pounding temple pressure).
Digest her name
write it on the mirror
in every two bit room
of every three bit town
I ever stay in.

(Alone, mostly, clinging when I’m not.)

I have forgotten seduction more complicated
than “Yes”, “Do” and/or “Please”,
but my lovers are complicated humans.
I will be a student forever.

Insomnia

2009-03-06T11:56:00.000-08:00

Her sorrow is a lake
welling till drowning.
bottom traps in dim blue depths.

One sunny day, surface sailing
I'll stand in hateful sun
bubbling skin peeling
bald, skinned screamer
Blood flower
surface blooming
staining her
sorrow purple.

My sorrow is a cancer
eating me alive
lay beside his dreams at night
ceiling stare through tears
not unhappy is the next best thing
to being happy.

Tuesday

2009-02-23T23:00:00.000-08:00

I am terrified for you from love of you.
frequently casually cruel
sleep late, I stay up till early
weeping with exhaustion and fear.

I wasn't born patient
and I won't be kind tomorrow
I'll relapse
apologize
grasp you with both hands
a blind woman,
searching tangled covers
for a physical band aid to slap my burning eyes.

Love Letter, Rough Draft

2009-02-18T22:31:00.001-08:00

When she comes home
I want to keep her up all night
Like the teenage boys I imagine her rejecting
In the perfect world this isn't.

Woman

2009-02-15T23:26:00.000-08:00

Too soon to call?
I'm unsure
But too late,
so go to bed to
uncurl the boy ball

I dreamt
we were all together
dressed in black
eating dinner

Woke alone
sans headache
I'm gonna swallow this pulse
pounding temple pressure
digest your name
write it on the mirror
In every town I leave you for.

I'm Going to Burn Down the Midwest.

2009-02-14T11:24:00.000-08:00

when she leaves
I want violent expulsions
heated eye and throat liquids
I try to hold it
and don't quite make it
even in the biggest boots.

Both of You

2009-02-14T01:15:00.000-08:00

You are so necessary
to US.

Least of All Here.

2009-02-04T14:56:00.001-08:00

They've got faces full of metal
Firework hair
The never never land wraiths
I love so much
I became one
explode into being
Stars on acid
leaving fast as coming
It isn't small at all
Or ever explained well.

Sunset Trees

2009-02-04T13:39:00.000-08:00

JD are the initials of my favorite poet
And a liquor I don't like
My sister hates the poet
but she likes the liquor

I've lost every copy of that small red book I ever had
And I've had several
But I haven't lost the snapshot
Of my sister reading poetry
On a warm to chilly tombstone
Before I broke her heart.
She drinks more since I moved
And I worry
afraid of a tomb full of regrets

Are you experienced?
We will be.
We will be.
We will be,
before we meet again.
But at least we'll meet again.

you're not worthless

2009-02-03T22:25:00.000-08:00

Nothing sings:
the dead of winter is not a pretty phrase.
Sleepless exhaustion reigns.

This long line of girls striving
to look younger than they've been for years
drugging themselves
they got to get through
the job
night
minute
man.
All married,
insufficient.
Secrets steeped in alcohol,
children uneducated as lovers.
But spring comes to both sides of asylum.

When I hear a song I like
It's rare I am not the originator.
When I look at your face everything sings.

Passed

2009-01-30T19:19:00.000-08:00

Today's forecast,
heavy paranoia
50 percent chance of rain.

Victim counterculture's north star:
excessive poor communication.

I'm nothing glamorous to come home to,
traveling model let down.
stick girl, scar bundles tension burnt
I throw up in the kitchen sink
while you awkwardly make love
and she says No.

she's floored
forcibly silent
you're out
I'm in
she's leaving
bed to drugs to bed
she's silent
I'm on the road

One of these days,
he'll send the strays
back to the pound.
They kill a lot of kittens there.

What is so ugly about me
that I have to rape you both
every fucking time?

Looking Glass

2009-01-23T11:41:00.000-08:00

"Will we fall apart?"
I know you're saying you might leave, know
I can't trap anyone. I
run scared,
terrified of failure.
Disoriented, I don't do enough.
A better work ethic will perfect things.
Right?
Right?
Right?

You make my guts hurt too much to listen to.
Versions of needing to talk...
Well, this will hurt.

Indulgent repetition for my own belief.
Should I touch you less often?
Remind you (I love you) less frequently?
Please breathe around me
oxygen deprivation makes me see unreality
through a looking glass, dimly.

I want to see you
Face to face
under me, smiling
over me, screaming
I want you
in all your terrifying life
overwhelming ecstasy
but I can't just take you
You're not new shoes.

ache

2009-01-21T15:32:00.000-08:00

Insomnia stalked under blanket filtered light
I'm just watching you sleep
(I'm that girl, crying over hats.)

I want to gutter crawl with you
hang those Christmas lights above our filth.
The obvious bears repeating. I love you.

I feel like a horrible daughter
especially next to you
maybe it's my gutter after all.

Mrs. Freeman

2009-01-17T08:22:00.000-08:00

I'm a college drop out
making a living off sex
And I have a vagina.
I know I'm not
What you wanted for your daughter
When she was a littler girl.

But I love your daughter
And I want to take care of her
For as many years as she'll let me.

I'm A Terrible Beggar.

2009-01-07T00:51:00.000-08:00

please touch me
more often

I hate apologizing for my sex drive.

Kitten

2009-01-04T23:19:00.001-08:00

you're a kind man
you take in stray cats
nurse us to health
slender sleek, capable
Still cats, wandering.

You need to ask me to sit in your lap
I don't always want to be asking.

Observations

2008-12-23T23:24:00.000-08:00

Watching them fuck
emotionally trumps fucking

They smile
And I forget to remember.

I am so disappointed in you.

2008-12-21T10:29:00.000-08:00

it all seems exactly right
wrongs and all.
Imperfection included,
I smile more now than I ever have

Despite those people
who won't listen to anything
anything they don't want to hear.
I can't tell anyone anything
anything they will listen to,
so it's better not to say anything
anything at all.

Headstones climbing my thighs,
middle lesson-the sound we make is loudest in our own heads.
I am not your diary.
I am not your diary.
I am not your diary.
Express yourself for yourself.
Quit mourning the murder of the vicarious life you had me to live.

Unafraid

2008-12-18T12:46:00.001-08:00

We don't have to grow up all the way
or all at once.

I have no problem with being naked for money
I like buying bread
I like cutting your crusts off.

Wet Smile

2008-12-15T23:05:00.001-08:00

Ambivalent winter
sports an incongruous orchid.
Wet purple stain,
bruised pussy flesh
spread open.
Bitter snow exposed,
Not that anyone's looking.
Not that anyone wants the look.

But on a day random by warmth,
things heal and blossom.

Photo by Nicole.
She can be found here:
http://www.modelmayhem.com/871371

I'm not a lot of things

2008-12-05T22:43:00.000-08:00

I want to be a rib bone
Pale curved grace
Gleaming
In your eyespace...
but my freckled ass
Will never be perfect.

Echo

2008-12-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't wear the big fuckoff boots
if I weren't okay with staring.
None of us would.
Those who say otherwise
lie.

Alternative expression attention seeks,
it's inherent to the equation.
By fuck you, we mean fuck me.
Hard.

I'm well aware
my life is a fucking spectacle.
I made it,
wanted this way,
and I may sleep uneasy on wrinkled sheets
but I'm not going to a goddamn hotel.

I'm paranoid.
I talk too much.

different talk in different places
allows sliced up views into my head, a
terrible picture of who I might be,
identity impossible to internet glean anyway.

Regardless all
surveys filled,
pictures uploaded,
personal information available:
Dear Masses,
I can never hold your hand through a computer screen.
And even if I could,
I still couldn't explain my self via the internet.

the information's there.
Pick up pieces
fit them together
any old way, I'm flexible.
Cyber space eases dismissive tendencies-
filter enough other through you,
and you cease
to Be.Come. Do. Change.

Spectacle Spectacular

2008-12-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

Spectacle spectacular
Monocle rim light

I only talk about him
I only talk about her
Everything else is too uncertain

Spectacle spectacular
Microscope specimen

Puzzle piece people
Put them any way you like
We're flexible.

I love you

2008-12-03T10:43:00.000-08:00

Rescue me
I don't need rescuing
I just want to make you feel
better than good

Clove kiss

2008-11-27T22:32:00.000-08:00

Rooftop dragons
sparks showering a fluid light river
surrounding my home
I tell you true things
ugliness I've seen
terrible things
that I've done
that were done to me

I hold you at night,
watching dreams slide
I am trying to read,
but you dream in no language I know.

whisper secrets on ash breath
violent memories into violet cityscape
ears stealing fragments
I am learning to read.

Woman

2008-11-27T12:39:00.001-08:00

Water shudder over skin shiver.
Forever people.
We built it, they're coming.
of all the fish finning
I found your hook in my mouth
sea green eyes swimming
into my mouth, plump lips
licked and laughing,
fruit smooth as his head.
fallen peaches
young girls splitting.
I thought
dream became routine.
I found
it's all in my head.
You're all in my arms
visceral vibrations
I am cunt and heart around you
head over heat about you
stilted circled undercurrent
unsubtle, like you mean it.

New York Route

2008-11-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

solemn window face
sun spot streaked,
aware
He hates her.
I don't hate the window girl.
I am not in love with her.

I did everything
Hatred feared.
I'm sorry.
In unapologetic fashion.
I offer tomatoes, radio wire
clear clean slices
leave a lot to be desired
in Georgia
at 17
perpetual motion
roaming gaudy sunsets
impractical as goth

My father hates travel
constant movement
But the window girl is a whimsical image
Excessive, hedonistic blend
City transplant
at the end of the ride,
the window girl dies.

making it up as I go along

2008-11-19T07:07:00.000-08:00

dump/reformat
give them space
room to fill me again.

good natured worry and fierce love
they pour into me, and
I cry
terrified
I won't be able to protect them.
things aren't even attacking them
yet.

I love them.
I love them.
I love them, and so I have
more to fear than ever.

I want to fluff my feathers
Keep everything warm
unalone, everything matters more.

I cry when they aren't looking.
I'd like to cry more,
I want that fresh cleaned empty in my pores.

suck it lick it love it

2008-11-04T16:12:00.000-08:00

Hello, early morning
I lay me down but ceiling's boring
Empty palmed word beggars
carting cell clutching junkie arms
Canceled eyes unseen, thank God
suck it lick it love it.

I've got nothing but soft skinned silent sleepers
I can breathe in DC pattern stretched to habit, this is
22 with far more than 21 invested.
Awake in your dreamscent, darling,
I tell you I love you and it doesn't mean as much
on tongue as it does eye widening and vein sliding
human contact is most moving.
It's there.
I don't wake up alone,
spend weeks without human skin against me.
dry sponge tissue girl.

The choice to choose isn't a given
Till you give it
To you.
Yes, there will be suffering
Thought art takes more effort than ever.
Cautious optimism runs rampant over
Fear forests, rolling exhaustion.

Bodywash

2008-10-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

Your scent's an invasion
like no boy, no body,
has ever done.
Night curls round you,
dreams' scent taunting insomnia, and
I stare at the ceiling,
stare at the back of your skull, and
eventually I pass out. Wake up
alone with hands smelling like
you, gone, down
between bars of flesh and
morning sunlight and
gray rain,
leaving me arched on the couch
knowing that you like to see this
but I'm shy.
Even though I love you, I'm embarrassed of myself.
Why is it so much easier to watch than to show?

you talk a lot for someone who can't communicate.

2008-10-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

You say you should quit cutting,
you should forget me.
I am not as understanding
as the woman we shared twelve months ago
when I knew you were distancing
too chickenshit to admit it
drank too much
sat by myself
watched your face
while she swallowed
other people admired your erection.

I've rarely known you to do what you should.
Haven't heard your voice in months,
save the twice you've bothered to communicate.
Not that I'm counting or anything.

I'm counting.
Even though math isn't my strong suit.
I've been spacing from you
gasp and burst, like orgasms
I used to bring you to,
in our hairspray haze.
White spray on black nail polish,
blurred youth's discarded snapshots
more beautiful because
I'll never quite remember or exactly see that boy again.
Alcoholic Adonis in oversized boots.

That was not so long ago,
but the new boyfriend sits across the room
asking why
I've got to pick up mouth corners
over the old boyfriend
suddenly boyfriend is a stupid word,
losing all connection to my reality due to over-repetition,
and the new girlfriend understands.

We held it together too long, and
we took each other too damn far.
If I were a kind woman,
this is where I'd apologize,
but I'm just not sorry.
I lied when I said I was
that cold drug fogged morning.

Tricycles are more stable than bicycles.
The new girlfriend holds my head
More tenderly than she ever held you
Not that I was watching.
Except that I can never look away.

A thing of beauty

2008-10-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

She takes what I offer her art, and transforms it into a thing of beauty. In her eyes, I'm magical. That kind of belief is a powerful force.

She is Katie fucking Freeman.
I love her.

Pressing my face into my palm

2008-10-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

This, worst written
noncommunicating creation
Unmakes memory
so when I forget
I won't really.

I am terrified elation
Shallow bruised breaths
Change
mind
life
something

I've died,
but it was only a chrysalis.
I'm blood beating through fresh wings
unfurling May morning.

I don't know what the right thing is,
I don't know if I'm doing it.
refusing to focus on terror,
though chiaroscuro blue pulses at the edges of this red core.
I am reduced to noun.
burning eyes staring bleakly at the
(completely normal, mildly dis/content)
world.

I am not the only one, nor am I alone.
But things have come crawling out of my skin
nothing I was aware were there.

They have loved me the longest
have mainly got no idea
where I am
what I'm doing
This is less unusual than my guts think
But not the only way I feel.

Interchange exists.
Blue red neon scream
pushing each other out of the way.
I'm happy.
Incredibly happy.

2008-09-25T22:41:00.001-07:00

I'm going to wait until you're good and asleep to sneak in.
I'm going to whisper true things to the air you're dreaming in,
and then I'm gonna leave.
The words I gave you got under that skin you slice,
and truths don't become untrue whenever you want them to.

You've put fresh stains in ridged skin you hated me to touch.
My fingers probed too deep, needle lover.
Or was I too blunt?
Cat tongue flicking key, you make me cringe.
You, still.
If I come to you with my own blood in my mouth again,
will you communicate without code for once?

I tried to plant Eden in your Wastelands,
but you're still building fences with material you don't understand.
Standing outside ringed cells,
I can't see into the tower your desperate fear constructed
You could not take power anymore than I will wake you up.

Communication

2008-09-16T20:18:00.000-07:00

I use art
To filter passion
Black coffee is bitter.
I add cream and sugar
So cunt clenching need
To run tongue on your scalp
Doesn't stop you
From refilling your mug.

Recluse

2008-09-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

I am desperately afraid
Of humans and failure
I want to say sorry
But there is no sorry to be sorry for.

Needing stranger's ears
Confirms my insufficiency
I went to therapy today.

I talked to my own twisting fingers
About taking nine hours to smoke a cigarette
And told the hole in my glove
I could come back at three.

Blue Paint

2008-09-11T07:04:00.000-07:00

Your muse doesn't put three spoonfuls of sugar in her coffee
Or bruise easily
she's never tripped on the stairs
Your muse isn't scared of anything
she doesn't scoop the catbox
Looking through your extra eye
I see her
A thing of beauty
More concept than woman
More cunt than heart

the Magical World of Anna

2008-09-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

Goth glamour, tits and ass for the pure sake of letting my brain out to play. These are the women populating this magical world, if you know where to look. Oil slick eyes and poison mouths, shining with laughter, lube, and lust.

Tommy Landon recorded the evidence.
Rachel played with me.
You love it long time.
(so do I)

You're Writing Again.

2008-09-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

you
(high wind below my branches)
rattle green bones.
Your coming
causes trembling.
Some people are put together
well, while asleep.
I would be one of those people,
if I were a cat.

Breath shake update
receive pieces of you
(filtered
I-don't-know how many times).
Revealing weakness isn't bad
habits I pick up
vulnerability regardless,
before your stern steady stare,
you force me to feel,
if only your hand break my lip.
Bloody teeth know:
I still miss you (I can't tell you that).

50th date

2008-09-02T16:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we've only been on five. I know what the relaxed safety of waking up after the 50th feels like, and that's what I was trying to get across here. Don't know if I managed it or not, but I do love these shoes, these shots, and the man who took them very much indeed.

This last one...that is what people who live in the Magical World of Anna wake up to. Come play.

photos by Asylum...
www.asylum-photo.com

Painting

2008-08-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

Deep wounds are hot
Stick fingers in skin
Feel my blood boiling.
Scar lover with your perfect hide
Cut mine
Leave our hearts out of it
for once.

The surround sand where you stand
Sunset bathing
, crimson skin relax synth,
is my wrist flow.

Harem

2008-08-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

I want to be let in
just for asking.

Irregularly consume [mate] ed
Quick gasps are my best approximation.

Ophelia's daughter:
Semen spray cream flesh
Like yesterday's milk-
too alive.

I want to be let in
just for being.

Slick blacked stiletto girl
Variously peeled.

Eat my stem last
Upon experience conclusion
Please promptly return the survey

Your opinions matter to us
Regardless your opinions of us
We chase excellence.

July 30th's Evening, As Seen Through August 13th's Afternoon

2008-08-20T23:53:00.001-07:00

"I hate what I do to you"
You said to my death mask.
Lip flick smoke curl
Chaining the habit you hate,

"it isn't killing me yet,"
I replied, maybe lied
unintentionally; can't swear
it was the truth.

Summer heat burned charming astonishment
shock transferred
you have learned to cut me
but you can't find my skin

"I don't ever want to see you again."
Chest seizing quiet state
blood slow round splintering ribs
You are vicious and cruel.

"Why are you shocked?"
Your best bitch voice wasn't lost on me.
sudden bloodless realization
I couldn't recognize the anger wearing your face.

Daredevil

2008-08-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Vulnerable, frequently afraid
of you.
You know about me and pain
No one else asks.
Talking to you,
I feel
(guilty).
But no one else asks.

Your cruel streak
exploits weaknesses
This mouth never spoke.

I Dream In Color

2008-08-20T03:32:00.000-07:00

These make me really happy.

Happiness, or something like it.

2008-08-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

Light a cigarette. Stare at my face in the mirror. Six minutes into this song, I can't remember what I was thinking when it started. My eyes look like death. Restart the song. Put out the cigarette.

Throw up, cry down, pass out, not come round till Thursday. Must be in love. Another brain thing. You have so few of the inexplicables I experience. How can I tell you about red when you wander the world shut-eyed? Ears aren't for seeing. Come be with me.

My eyes are full of death. I wonder how much it would cost to break every mirror in this place. You're filling up my chest. I wonder if I can get my hands to stop shaking enough to break anything. My ribs are cracking. I wonder if you will ever be able to love you, or anyone.

You're off in that shell, hibernating with misery and I can't cut through because you won't reach out. I don't know how to end this, because I don't want to.

Heartspace adder

2008-07-31T15:52:00.000-07:00

I drink when I’m sad in public.
As long as there’s something to blame,
no one knows
how sad I really am.
At your house, I go to the next room
and cry as quietly as I can.
You already know how miserable you make me
by the way mascara stains your couch.
White is a stupid color for furniture.
Of course, you don’t love me
for my eye makeup.
When you sigh and look to the right,
I look where you’re looking
and see nothing
but the expression your face relaxes into
when you’re thinking ugly thoughts.
Good thing pain is pretty-
a wound like this takes forever to heal.

Unbelief

2008-07-31T14:40:00.001-07:00

This deity xerox is the void you steal glimpses of
under the impression
I am not constantly staring at you.
You taught me
to lay my eyes near your heart
speak the beat.
Were you aware of the danger
or acting on impulse?
I cannot unlove,
or fight fair,
or believe what you say
when what you mean is so obvious.

Birthday

2008-07-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

As this train passes another cemetery
I imagine the funerals you’ve missed
based on the ones I’ve attended
I’ve seen a lot of mourning
but you’ve only seen you.
Will you go to my funeral,
will you know how to mourn by then?

I made your present weeks ago
I know when your birthday is
but not when I’ll see you again.

Juicer

2008-07-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

You go through people like juice.
I’m gonna be an empty bottle in your trash.
The thing that hurts isn’t that you say I’m worthless.
It’s that you’re lying
shock written all over my face
reflecting your untruths
Your scathing laughter circles my vulnerability, wolfman.
you’d rather throw out a full bottle of juice than try a new flavor.
Vitamins are sweeter than I thought they’d be.
Open me up.

Wide Open

2008-07-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Israel's children turned their collective back on God
Cried to the skies
Kids always want to know where Daddy went
Did he forget me?
Is he coming to get me?

This deity-xerox doesn't believe in losing people
But you could to choose to remove yourself
If that's what you're into.

I know you
you don't know what to do with me
I am not changing the way I treat you
I don't know what else to do with you
I haven't forgotten
desperate motions with your mouth open
Thank God you did it with your mouth open.