Easy Girls

A girl I'd never fuck
asked me if I ate pussy
I thought of your sea foam eyes and crocodile tears
And I laughed at her.

When you said you'd always love me
and never anyone else
I hope you were lying
for your sake.

Block Me

Last I ever saw you,
sleeping peacefully in our bed,
I cried
(I’m crying now
dopamine deficient
10,000 feet over Montreal.)
Kissed your real hair for 15 minutes,
stepped over your extensions,
went to work.
You were so strong then.

Now you shower me with introductory goodbyes.
So flattering, you're giving me what I always asked for.
but Baby, believe me.
I don’t want to see you.
Just go.
I’ll be strong for both of us,
forget your venom,
your flying mirrors.

I’ve lost your voice,
I’ll never see your new scars.
Go to your LA lover,
while I buy 98 lbs of shoes
and marry New York.

I love you too much to see you again,
ruin the light on your golden cheekbone
under laced lashes’ curves.
MDMA glues my throat shut,
while you eat crumbs with your silver spoon.
we're children in an infant millennium
we learn the arithmetic of carefully constructed chemical separation
in the blackest and bluest of schools.

I was waiting for you,
but you came for someone else.
Fill my chest with steampunk steel,
I could see you.
Calm,
pleasant,
feeling full as any junkyard queen,
I could let you ruin yourself for me.
Closure’s the last thing I want, Loved.
I’ll take no scars from you,
leave these arms bleeding.
I want to go on missing you when I fuck blondes,
long after I forget what you taste like.

Dieting

let's fuck outdoors in thunderstorms
sun sexing stars
two knuckles deep in your muscle
if we stay up till dawn
will we gain anything by early afternoon?

spine recline
pussy index
belgian amalgam
I brought you to my lover
kitten's dead rat
feeding people means you love them
but she's not hungry.

To The Beautiful Boy Passed Out In My Bed

The girl I wish you were is doing that thing
where she doesn't reply to my messages
cause she knows I won't like
the answers
to the questions
I'm asking.
Modern moonlight,
The most disappointing thing in my life
Is this telecommunication device.
Blast Bowie
bony hand dangling death
into this lovely summer day.
Mama tells me she's a mistake
but I still think we can make it okay
She turns me on
but we're only dancing.

Fevered

There's a ball of naked need
model mask and stilettos
waiting for you in Philadelphia.
Come home,
I have a voice
to whisper to you on early mornings.
Open mouth, make you stickier than summer
I've grown new skin
to press to yours late at night.
I want to slice my wrists on your cheekbones
bleed laughter on your new scars
I have house keys to share with you
And I will pierce your navel
with my tongue.

Spine Worm

It’s 8 am.
I’m on a bus to New York.
One hug away from breaking down in public.
don’t touch ANYONE.
Avoid eye contact.
Don’t Panic
My plastic smile is fabulous
whether I am
or not.
I’ve desperately needed an ending for months
but I knew months ago
this is never ending.

Time’s shrinking, you’re the last gasp
before plastic’s pulled
over my face,
slick fill mouth and nostrils,
wrinkling against open eyes.
Thin death tugs my eyelashes
but you’re in my lungs,
mingling with recently illegal blue cinnamon
saving my life.
Without you I’m slug bait.
Can’t wait.
My father calls to tell me when and how I’ll die
sounds so poetic
but it isn’t when you live it.
Preoccupation with mortality is an occupational hazard for ministers.
Mama never left the stage,
she just acts out different dramas.
When antique ashtrays flew through the kitchen like zeppelins,
the blonde schoolgirl I used to be hoped for a new Daddy
but we never had room for a pony.
I’ve always been a preacher’s daughter,
and now I’m an artist’s lover.
I scratch at the back door
let me come in
curl up in your lap.
sleep on your pillow
touch your hair.

You're the sunshine I need.
Pour over my fragile skin and
burn it off.
I will rise from my ashes,
looking for you in the sky.
If I can't find you,
my remains will sketch a picture of you
on every reachable flat surface.
maybe someone will direct you to me
if my smoke signal is black enough.
The seat next to me is always open,
if you’re you.
Thank God you are.

You Are The Woman Stuck In My Throat

Those smiles don't move me.
The attention I want
is yours.

I want to be your
beautiful dream.

And please don't
wake up-
I'm so tired
of your going away.

Silence

Sun blind stumble round Filthadelphia,
skinned knees
(how old am I, again?)
leave red roses on wet pavement.
Light another black cigarette with the end of some stranger's kindness.

Acid rain turned tsunami,
drowning is perfect and so were we,
once upon the small hours of a dead time

The heart is just a muscle.
The heart is just a muscle.
The heart is just a muscle.
But hers is torn and it's breaking mine.

stressed, scared, running
rare sightings create broken communication
I want to say anything
Just to say
Thinking of you
But I talk too much.

Perpetual Motion and Static Cling

We’re so grown, we don’t break.
Maintain gorgeous not exactly lies, I’ve got
new men in my thighs, you’ve got
new work in your life.
Not exactly unhappy,
there’s so much good in life,
but cigarette pause and
I miss you, miss you.
I miss you often, not always.
Do you notice
when I don’t speak
to you?
I didn’t think so, but I often think wrong.

Sibilant city skies scream suicide
and I’m laughing,
romantic atrocities spill from her pretty mouth
I want to kiss her till we’ve both died.
Crashing burnt babies,
spray love, lust and perfect cheekbones
all over the damn highway.
I love her,
I love her,
I love her,
I am utterly abandoned, completely unreliable
to anyone else.
Following her to the ends of the earth,
I forget myself,
I am my Self.

If you came back, what would I do
with you, with your sad sense of replacement?
There is more to
even my
life than sex, mister.
If you knew me enough to know that,
would you have known that love trumps typecasting?
Seen differently?

Dancing ladies want someone to love them,
even when the shadow’s wiped from cracking eyelids,
the music’s stopped,
colored hot lights yield to cold dawn slapping tired fishnets.
The more people see of you,
the less human you’re seen.
She loves me under fluorescent grocery bars,
she loves me in broad daylight,
she loves me by starlight and sunset and
when we creep out of town at dawn
her eyes shine brighter than headlights.
She is gorgeous without glitter,
passed out and pale in muted afternoon tones,
I love her.

We are consumables consuming,
why were you so afraid of being eaten alive?
There is no thrill like the thrill of slipping
down her throat.
You gave her your cock,
threw your head back on the trial run.
My heart’s in her teeth.
There is more to (even my) life than sex.

Katie

You open me.





When I've shut down.


I love you.

Slow Constant Burn

My stomach wrenched card castle
is flaming down around us
The phoenix is dying.

There's no space
time
words
Just this endless journey.
Run.

One year of poetry undone
in one heartless sentence
Birth hurts.

I want you
but I can't hold you
Slow constant burn
We're learning to fly.

Insomnia

Her sorrow is a lake
welling till drowning.
bottom traps in dim blue depths.

One sunny day, surface sailing
I'll stand in hateful sun
bubbling skin peeling
bald, skinned screamer
Blood flower
surface blooming
staining her
sorrow purple.

My sorrow is a cancer
eating me alive
lay beside his dreams at night
ceiling stare through tears
not unhappy is the next best thing
to being happy.

Woman

Too soon to call?
I'm unsure
But too late,
so go to bed to
uncurl the boy ball

I dreamt
we were all together
dressed in black
eating dinner

Woke alone
sans headache
I'm gonna swallow this pulse
pounding temple pressure
digest your name
write it on the mirror
In every town I leave you for.

I'm Going to Burn Down the Midwest.

when she leaves
I want violent expulsions
heated eye and throat liquids
I try to hold it
and don't quite make it
even in the biggest boots.

Passed

Today's forecast,
heavy paranoia
50 percent chance of rain.

Victim counterculture's north star:
excessive poor communication.

I'm nothing glamorous to come home to,
traveling model let down.
stick girl, scar bundles tension burnt
I throw up in the kitchen sink
while you awkwardly make love
and she says No.

she's floored
forcibly silent
you're out
I'm in
she's leaving
bed to drugs to bed
she's silent
I'm on the road

One of these days,
he'll send the strays
back to the pound.
They kill a lot of kittens there.

What is so ugly about me
that I have to rape you both
every fucking time?

Looking Glass

"Will we fall apart?"
I know you're saying you might leave, know
I can't trap anyone. I
run scared,
terrified of failure.
Disoriented, I don't do enough.
A better work ethic will perfect things.
Right?
Right?
Right?

You make my guts hurt too much to listen to.
Versions of needing to talk...
Well, this will hurt.

Indulgent repetition for my own belief.
Should I touch you less often?
Remind you (I love you) less frequently?
Please breathe around me
oxygen deprivation makes me see unreality
through a looking glass, dimly.

I want to see you
Face to face
under me, smiling
over me, screaming
I want you
in all your terrifying life
overwhelming ecstasy
but I can't just take you
You're not new shoes.

Mrs. Freeman

I'm a college drop out
making a living off sex
And I have a vagina.
I know I'm not
What you wanted for your daughter
When she was a littler girl.

But I love your daughter
And I want to take care of her
For as many years as she'll let me.

I'm A Terrible Beggar.

please touch me
more often

I hate apologizing for my sex drive.

Observations

Watching them fuck
emotionally trumps fucking

They smile
And I forget to remember.

Unafraid

We don't have to grow up all the way
or all at once.

I have no problem with being naked for money
I like buying bread
I like cutting your crusts off.