Heartspace adder

I drink when I’m sad in public.
As long as there’s something to blame,
no one knows
how sad I really am.
At your house, I go to the next room
and cry as quietly as I can.
You already know how miserable you make me
by the way mascara stains your couch.
White is a stupid color for furniture.
Of course, you don’t love me
for my eye makeup.
When you sigh and look to the right,
I look where you’re looking
and see nothing
but the expression your face relaxes into
when you’re thinking ugly thoughts.
Good thing pain is pretty-
a wound like this takes forever to heal.

Unbelief

This deity xerox is the void you steal glimpses of
under the impression
I am not constantly staring at you.
You taught me
to lay my eyes near your heart
speak the beat.
Were you aware of the danger
or acting on impulse?
I cannot unlove,
or fight fair,
or believe what you say
when what you mean is so obvious.

Birthday

As this train passes another cemetery
I imagine the funerals you’ve missed
based on the ones I’ve attended
I’ve seen a lot of mourning
but you’ve only seen you.
Will you go to my funeral,
will you know how to mourn by then?

I made your present weeks ago
I know when your birthday is
but not when I’ll see you again.

Juicer

You go through people like juice.
I’m gonna be an empty bottle in your trash.
The thing that hurts isn’t that you say I’m worthless.
It’s that you’re lying
shock written all over my face
reflecting your untruths
Your scathing laughter circles my vulnerability, wolfman.
you’d rather throw out a full bottle of juice than try a new flavor.
Vitamins are sweeter than I thought they’d be.
Open me up.