Just Go Into The Next Room

maintaining the ordinary facade
postpones the inevitable scene
But I wish I were strong enough to take it
So someone could comfort me.

This all seems so unneedful
But I can't ask
if this is real
he's so damned stubborn.

I see no end to this
out of body sorrow
that isn't me
ouroboros swallowed girl
shaking like that
I can't feel it
watching someone else collapse.

Slow Constant Burn

My stomach wrenched card castle
is flaming down around us
The phoenix is dying.

There's no space
time
words
Just this endless journey.
Run.

One year of poetry undone
in one heartless sentence
Birth hurts.

I want you
but I can't hold you
Slow constant burn
We're learning to fly.

Sex Ed

Piss scented cushion
seated in the tower of babel
(human birdsong fallen in my ears),
I travel through time,
live in seasons unoccurred,
waiting on Tomorrow Girl.

She runs late but comes soon.

15 minutes declined;
I'm gonna swallow this
(pulse pounding temple pressure).
Digest her name
write it on the mirror
in every two bit room
of every three bit town
I ever stay in.

(Alone, mostly, clinging when I’m not.)

I have forgotten seduction more complicated
than “Yes”, “Do” and/or “Please”,
but my lovers are complicated humans.
I will be a student forever.

Insomnia

Her sorrow is a lake
welling till drowning.
bottom traps in dim blue depths.

One sunny day, surface sailing
I'll stand in hateful sun
bubbling skin peeling
bald, skinned screamer
Blood flower
surface blooming
staining her
sorrow purple.

My sorrow is a cancer
eating me alive
lay beside his dreams at night
ceiling stare through tears
not unhappy is the next best thing
to being happy.

Tuesday

I am terrified for you from love of you.
frequently casually cruel
sleep late, I stay up till early
weeping with exhaustion and fear.

I wasn't born patient
and I won't be kind tomorrow
I'll relapse
apologize
grasp you with both hands
a blind woman,
searching tangled covers
for a physical band aid to slap my burning eyes.

Love Letter, Rough Draft

When she comes home
I want to keep her up all night
Like the teenage boys I imagine her rejecting
In the perfect world this isn't.

Woman

Too soon to call?
I'm unsure
But too late,
so go to bed to
uncurl the boy ball

I dreamt
we were all together
dressed in black
eating dinner

Woke alone
sans headache
I'm gonna swallow this pulse
pounding temple pressure
digest your name
write it on the mirror
In every town I leave you for.