Katie

You open me.





When I've shut down.


I love you.

Greater Than The Sum

I miss your morning bedhead
floor piled extensions
I want to take you to the movies
make out, annoy the single father behind us
ex D and D'er, glasses too small for his fleshy head
when he bitches and moans I want to say
Hey man
we paid our money to be here, same as everyone else
and if we want to ignore this film
well
that's our prerogative.
I want to tie you up, blind fold you
I want to take you to bed
I want you to come home
Sideways shouting Filthadelphia
we have pillow forts to build
afternoon naps to take
I want to make you breakfast
eat in bed
I want to do everything
but not the sad things
and I want to do them all for many years
I want arson art and alcohol
I want you.

Sober Ramble

I'm giving you no context for this
I'd like to
But I lost it
I live in a world contextualized by the texture of your photographs
jealous of the sun on your face
I want to slap the rays away like they're from Jersey
Without your tone of voice
Dragons be everywhere
And me with a broken compass
The only direction I know is down
Everything spiraling out of control
Incessant nervous nausea
I'd like to give you a context for this
but the only determining factor in my present existence is your distance
and you've already got that
space is the single most deconstructive construct you've ever asked me for
you need room
to grow and blossom

and I need you.
I'm the bag lady, out of her head and wandering
I need you
down chestnut over to 12th st
I need you
Sightseeing in the places we used to be together
I need you
and you're not here
I try to bridge the distance with text messages,
I call too much,
I email your friends,
Prophets are crazy
and all love is worship in a way
can you grow here?
can we build here?
When are you coming home?

Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow

I am the ghost in your machine
Willow whispers round your gears
Roller coastered, one way to skin a lion.
I find myself uncomfortably numb.

Automatically voiced static shrills
Relax. Enjoy. White noise.

Silent haunting
You’re curled round my back brain
Lurker, never reaching out.
Her fist is my voice box
Clenched till the palm bleeds
Swallowing her blood makes me nauseous, today.
Bunch of fucked up kids
saving the worst behavior for our most beloveds
Crying about some damn trike
till the bike gets stolen.

Every day is one more time

I want to go to bed till it's all over
I want my fucking trike back.
But there's a monster under the bed
He is every fear ever felt
speaking out loud
Confirming, reaffirming
this is neverending.

Blonde Eyelashes

I am clinging to the idea of May
First anniversary of that first tentative physical exploration.

I can't remember the last time we fucked
I can't remember the last time you kissed me.

Shove it all into my spine
I am homeless.

There is nowhere safe for fear, grief, or anger,
until May.

Some Women Demand Strength

He said he wanted me
to have what I want-
Mockery.
What I want
doesn't want me.

Drag me down, lady
Breathe me in
isolated body high
kiss crawling through
wet, cold night
keeping up with you.