Friday, January 30, 2009

Passed

Today's forecast,
heavy paranoia
50 percent chance of rain.

Victim counterculture's north star:
excessive poor communication.

I'm nothing glamorous to come home to,
traveling model let down.
stick girl, scar bundles tension burnt
I throw up in the kitchen sink
while you awkwardly make love
and she says No.

she's floored
forcibly silent
you're out
I'm in
she's leaving
bed to drugs to bed
she's silent
I'm on the road

One of these days,
he'll send the strays
back to the pound.
They kill a lot of kittens there.

What is so ugly about me
that I have to rape you both
every fucking time?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Looking Glass

"Will we fall apart?"
I know you're saying you might leave, know
I can't trap anyone. I
run scared,
terrified of failure.
Disoriented, I don't do enough.
A better work ethic will perfect things.
Right?
Right?
Right?

You make my guts hurt too much to listen to.
Versions of needing to talk...
Well, this will hurt.

Indulgent repetition for my own belief.
Should I touch you less often?
Remind you (I love you) less frequently?
Please breathe around me
oxygen deprivation makes me see unreality
through a looking glass, dimly.

I want to see you
Face to face
under me, smiling
over me, screaming
I want you
in all your terrifying life
overwhelming ecstasy
but I can't just take you
You're not new shoes.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

ache

Insomnia stalked under blanket filtered light
I'm just watching you sleep
(I'm that girl, crying over hats.)

I want to gutter crawl with you
hang those Christmas lights above our filth.
The obvious bears repeating. I love you.

I feel like a horrible daughter
especially next to you
maybe it's my gutter after all.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Mrs. Freeman

I'm a college drop out
making a living off sex
And I have a vagina.
I know I'm not
What you wanted for your daughter
When she was a littler girl.

But I love your daughter
And I want to take care of her
For as many years as she'll let me.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I'm A Terrible Beggar.

please touch me
more often

I hate apologizing for my sex drive.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Kitten

you're a kind man
you take in stray cats
nurse us to health
slender sleek, capable
Still cats, wandering.

You need to ask me to sit in your lap
I don't always want to be asking.