Block Me

Last I ever saw you,
sleeping peacefully in our bed,
I cried
(I’m crying now
dopamine deficient
10,000 feet over Montreal.)
Kissed your real hair for 15 minutes,
stepped over your extensions,
went to work.
You were so strong then.

Now you shower me with introductory goodbyes.
So flattering, you're giving me what I always asked for.
but Baby, believe me.
I don’t want to see you.
Just go.
I’ll be strong for both of us,
forget your venom,
your flying mirrors.

I’ve lost your voice,
I’ll never see your new scars.
Go to your LA lover,
while I buy 98 lbs of shoes
and marry New York.

I love you too much to see you again,
ruin the light on your golden cheekbone
under laced lashes’ curves.
MDMA glues my throat shut,
while you eat crumbs with your silver spoon.
we're children in an infant millennium
we learn the arithmetic of carefully constructed chemical separation
in the blackest and bluest of schools.

I was waiting for you,
but you came for someone else.
Fill my chest with steampunk steel,
I could see you.
Calm,
pleasant,
feeling full as any junkyard queen,
I could let you ruin yourself for me.
Closure’s the last thing I want, Loved.
I’ll take no scars from you,
leave these arms bleeding.
I want to go on missing you when I fuck blondes,
long after I forget what you taste like.