Kiss

Your tongue is busy
So my mouth full
Of cold, sugared vodka
Won't ask for wanting
Silence to teach you sound

In a woman's world
Your involuntary noise
Would top charts.

Bias

Keats and I,
We could take oaths on your face.

Mirrored Smoke Brassiere

Stare at my vagina.
(there's a chastity belt on my secrets.)

Physical nudity has nothing on emotional stripping.
My poetry is lingerie for my soul.
Intellectual dick tease,
I'm a coward.
I don't want to cry.
It'll ruin my makeup.
Capitalist focus,
Forget Sunday, go to Vegas, cash in on character flaws
Lube my ass in a crowded club
I'll give you something hard to attend to!
(besides questions.)
I won't speak plainly
because I'm afraid,
and I'm insecure.
Your flattering interest calls for a tour guide
but I don't want to look at myself.
Let me be an empty cathedral
Wander aimlessly in senseless wonder
Crush into velvet pew
See dust on the stained glass
Spiderwebs in vaulted ceilings
The God you're seeking is out today.
Take beauty instead,
here's a distraction,
TITS AND ASS
fleshlight flash, glossed red leather lips
stick to skin, every sin
church was built to save you after.
Pout purr professional
sex goddamn symbol, baby
I want to be one dimensional
because I don't want
so much.

Silicone Sheeting

There's a body in the lake.
Dreamer, if we don't wake they fear...

Heat metal to melting, hold on tight.
Past loves last week's run in,
the dangerous end, carcinogen lie in my skin.
Futureperfect writes Webster,
I want to be
but my vocabulary's underverbed.

Long sleeves and lies are the most effective symptom solutions.
The disease is a bitch
so we just won't talk about it.
There's no pink fading to white under my makeup.
Cardio sucks scar color.
Run away.

Artists are self indulgent corpse fuckers,
we have been for years.
It's easier this way, our pain is right there
and who in the miserable world wants to hear about your happiness?
Fuck off
forget about it,
consumer culture demands sugared glitter
lovesongs to break hearts.
No reality checks for cashed out eyes.
Wear 3D glasses to feel
for steadily more expensive ghosts.
Borrow hope to pay today's emotional debt.
We're gonna die broke(n).
We're a fear
We're afraid
We're all afraid
I fear the worst
Terror rendered powerless is the action of terrible courage.

Conflict Inexplicable

You are the skeleton key to my caged tiger
close enough to use this shield for a mirror.
The past was content with reflection;
you're the least indulgent person I know.
That face launched oceans
first from shock, last from horror.
You've born the weight of other's error.
This hesitation doesn't indicate doubt, my calculated Cupid.
You're no apocalypse, just mathematics.
(I can handle application, theory escapes me.)
Your face is technically perfect
Even everything I'd ask for,
But it's not why I hid in the kitchen
crying into a smile at 2 in the afternoon.

Technicolor Retina

My ladle is an accurate devil,
watching details.
Swallows criticism,
until I've measured sufficient.

Sometimes this teaspoon serves more than sugar.
He stirs me,
observing changes observed
and I whore for attention
like any internet's children.
I want to become
(a girl who can dance for 3 minutes,
a woman who can love without fucking)
more perfectly a better me.

He asks questions I can't answer,
would ignore from anyone else,
his soundtrack dies for love.
Life as a bleeding explorer is all I've got,
but I could die tomorrow.

In acute humanity, insecurity goes without saying.
I write my doubts on napkin scraps,
leave them crumpled in coffee spills at Starbucks' across Manhattan.
Some busboy I'll never meet
knows some stranger with poor penmanship
fears not being
(entertaining, charming, supportive, attentive, ... )
enough.

Puzzle Piece

You don't have to be perfect,
just perfect for me.

Drugs and casual sex have nothing
on being asked difficult questions at 4am
by you.

My inappropriately timed laughter
is only me
recognizing your outline's edges.

Reddish Blues

Lend me your wrist and a boxcutter
I said, I need fresh lipstick.

I used to be so shocking,
want doppelganger sex dolls.
Swore like a sailor I loved them all
like my neighbors
and myself,
and now you
clean skinned wonder,
too young for me,
conservative.
I want to burn all over,
preserve my memory but don't use me
sparingly.

Reticence diminishes pleasure,
does not extend.
Cowards are criminals, should self prosecute
seldom wake in time for court.

At 6, I read newer testaments with little understanding.
Now I'm old enough to lie
about the date my parents conceived
such a disappointing child.
We aren't adults,
our nudity shocks no one.
We are expected, entertain strange,
titillate
baby
doll.
Outside
the ring they demand,
and we bonobo tango till our paws bleed,
toes curled in latex en pointe under whip
Invisible barbs sting
From between purchased mouths.
Who needs to be born with it
In plastic crowned cosmetic dream?
I am frequently afraid,
but know no one else to be.
I make my heartbreaker's face in the mirror
and hate myself for it
when I catch her smile in my teeth.
But I'm never alone
and she wasn't all wrong.

You make me wish
For a past like rabbits
And a fancy hat
But if I turned tricks
I wouldn't be
The woman you love.

Reason Comes From Everything

go up on me, blow my mind
gently
I'll discard petals
cherry blossoms on your breeze
stand before you bare as winter
scared as snow.

I believe in you
God
And high heeled shoes
Enough to be afraid.

Fervor

Your belief in me deifies
and taught me the fear of God
He's afraid of letting us down.

I can be a lot in the morning
anything except
blank as I was last night.
Fill the space with what attracts you
I'll get it back tomorrow
I swear.

Your faith inspires
I will work miracles for you.

, too.

You are handsome
But not to the extent
I believe.

All incoherent, exhausted word vomit
meant half as much as your
remembering to call.

But She Never Comes Home and She Won't Call

Children are selfish,
Yours are no exception.

I am afraid
of third degree burns
Spiders
And that you will die
before we learn to talk
without fighting.